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The Responsibilities of the Best Man

The best man is expected to play many roles, in addition to his role of safely keeping the ring - indeed, at most weddings his role is second only in importance to those of the bride and groom themselves. He is expected to be a greeter, speechwriter and toastmaster as well as a general all round organizer. He is also expected to look just as elegant and presentable as the groom himself.

Traditionally, the role of best man goes to the groom's brother, usually the one closest to him in age. A groom with no brother will usually choose his father, uncle, cousin or other male relative. And at many weddings, the best man is the groom's best friend - a person who perhaps may be able to offer a little moral support! And if the groom just can't decide on his best man - it's also acceptable to have two best men; in this case the duties should be divided up more or less equally.

The duties of the best man don't begin on the wedding day - typically, the best man may be kept busy for weeks or months prior to the big day. For this reason, it's important to choose someone who is reliable, well organized and has the time to commit. You also don't want to choose someone who is going to overindulge at the bachelor party, arrive late at the church or lose the ring!

One of the most important duties is that of organizing the bachelor party - planning a venue, sending out invitations and collecting any payments. The groom is generally not involved in the planning of the bachelor party. The best man also attends, and may help to plan two other important events prior to the actual ceremony - the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

However, the best man will have a lot to do on the big day. It's considered to be his responsibility to pick up the groom on the wedding day, oversee the duties of any ushers and groomsmen and sign the marriage license. The best man is responsible for seeing that the caterers, florist and photographer are all booked and confirmed; he may also have the responsibility of seeing that they are paid. And any limo service to or from the wedding ceremony is generally organized by the best man.

However, it isn't all business - the best man is often expected to perform the arduous duty of dancing with the bride, bridesmaids and maids of honor - as well as delivering a witty and memorable speech! In some countries the best man has even more fun - in Italy, he is expected to cut the groom's tie into little pieces and in Germany one of his duties is to take the bride to a bar until she is rescued by the groom.

And don't forget one of the most important characteristics of your best man - ideally he should be a bachelor himself. Traditionally, one of his main duties was to ensure that the groom didn't change his mind - if so, the best man would then be expected to take his place!