Share this article: « Back to all articles

The Groom's Checklist

There are many wedding checklists out there. Most are from the general wedding point of view. An equal amount are set from the bride's angle. The groom is often forgotten. This is often the result of traditional views of the bride planning all the details and the groom just showing up the day of the wedding. This is a poor misconception and could result in an unorganized wedding at best, and very rocky weeks and months leading up to the wedding at worst.

The groom should be involved in the planning of the wedding details. This will help prevent some of the arguments and hard feelings that often result from choices being made that affect both sides. The best way to stay involved is to work side by side with the bride. There are some details that should be worked out separately, while many others should be joint decisions. Traditionally, the brides family covered the cost of the wedding. Today, it is more common that the bride and groom cover the wedding cost together.

For the groom it is important to make sure certain steps are taken to ensure the wedding goes smoothly. Those steps are listed below.

• Propose. Yeah, it seems like an obvious one, but many times this step is botched. A good proposal, one that will hold a special place with the bride for years to come, is essential in setting the tone for the wedding. A poor proposal will give her fuel for a lifetime, every time a mistake is made.

• Set a wedding date. This decision should be made together with input from both sides. This is not only important for the wedding itself but it will be the anniversary date for the life of the marriage. Vacation times, destinations, favorite seasons, and other important dates should be considered when planning the wedding date.

• Type of service and venue. This will set the tone for the future planning. A large, elaborate wedding will require more planning and many more details than a small, family ceremony. Cost is a major factor, as well. This is definitely a joint decision.

• If the wedding is being paid for by the couple then a budget must be set and determine how and when each portion will be paid. This eliminates surprise bills and large expenditures at inopportune times.

• Plan for the honeymoon. Then, start saving for it. A honeymoon should be a romantic and exciting time, not one worrying about how the costs or debt incurred.

• Help spread the word. Tell family and friends. Help with the invitation list. A common cause of pre-wedding arguments is the inadvertent omission of important guests. If one person does the invitations extended family or friends may be forgotten.

• Select the best man and groomsmen. This will take some thought and should not be an off-hand selection. These people will be honored to be asked, but those who are not asked may be hurt, as well. These are also the people who will be responsible for your bachelor party.

• Planning for the tuxedo for you and the wedding party. Many men are disappointed when they are shown what they are expected to wear at the wedding. Being actively involved in the selection will help prevent this issue.

• Help with the selection of the wedding bands. Select something you can wear. A large band may not be the best choice for someone who works with machinery or hand tools. Not wearing a wedding band can be a point of constant friction between a husband and wife. Selecting a band that will work for both is the best way to avoid this problem.

• Meet with the minister (or priest or official) who is conducting the wedding. This will give you a chance to ask any questions.

• Be on time for all appointments, including the rehearsal. Showing up late for important wedding planning appointments sends the wrong message, to all parties involved.

• The most important check on the list is BE THERE ON WEDDING DAY. Show up early, be dressed and ready to go before anyone arrives and be at the end of the aisle to meet the bride as she walks down. The actions that day will set the tone for the rest of the marriage.

The groom's role in wedding planning is as important as the bride's. A life of joint decisions is started with the wedding planning. A day as important as a wedding should be planned by both parties involved and the planning should bring the couple closer. The planning process should help build anticipation and make the wedding day explode with excitement for the future.