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Small Wedding: Who to Invite

The idea of a small, intimate wedding ceremony holds a lot of allure for some people. The benefit to a small wedding, besides cost is the quaint feel and ease of planning. The problem comes when deciding who to invite. It always sounds easy until it comes time to make the list.

Making the wedding invitation list can be a daunting task even when you are not limiting the guests. However, when you decide to keep the list small for that intimate ceremony it can be a real headache. No one wants to offend a friend or relative by leaving them off the list. If a small wedding is the goal, many of those people will not be invited. The task becomes paring down the list to a workable number. There are a few strategies to help accomplish this task.

The first approach involves only inviting immediate family and members of the wedding party. This is easy to justify. Most people will not be offended if they know that it was only immediate family. Weddings at home or in a small church are ideal for these types of events.

Some people choose to set a goal number and make a list from both sides, starting with immediate family and working out to friends, until the number is reached. This allows the same number of guests from each side and ensures the families from both side get invited. It also works to eliminate a lot of the gratuitous guests (the ones who get invited just to fill chairs at a large wedding.) This strategy is good when the bride and groom have separate friends and come from different areas. Since they will each have their own list that must be merged this allows an equal number from each.

When the bride and groom come from the same area, have common friends, or have been together or a long time they may need to make the list together. In this case both families must be considered and then common friends can be added before adding separate friends and acquaintances. After family and mutual friends, usually a best friend from the bride and from the groom should make the list. Then any additional space on the list can be for extended family or friends.

Finally, the choice to put friends in the wedding party and invite only family members may be a popular choice. Starting with immediate family and working outward to extended family until the list is full allows for the same justification as the first approach. The closest friends will most likely be in the wedding party, making more space for family members. This often means having a slightly larger wedding party, but reduces the chance of offending friends or family.

Making a list of guests for a small wedding takes a little extra planning to ensure that feelings are not hurt. Knowing the family and friends on both sides will help avoid hurt feelings by inviting those who would expect to go and leaving out the ones who would prefer not to. Many people would be just as happy simply sending a card or gift without the obligation of going to the wedding. It is essential that both the bride and groom be involved so that the important guests on both sides get an invitation. A small, intimate wedding can be a memorable one, but it is important to invite the right guests.