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For some couples, weddings are a family affair that should include children of all ages. Others may choose to invite only older mature children, and still others opt for adults-only ceremonies. Which option is best for you? This is probably one of the first decisions you need to make when you starting your guest list. So how do you decide what is best for your wedding?
First, when you're trying to decide whether or not to invite children to your wedding ceremony and reception, try to block out the opinions of your guests. Mothers and fathers who are invited to your wedding will usually want to bring along their children, since it means that they do not have to go to the trouble of finding a sitter. However, keep in mind that this is your big day. Although you have to consider the needs of your wedding party and guests, ultimately, this is your choice to make. If you don't want children at your reception, say no, even though it might hurt some feelings.
Talk to your spouse-to-be about this issue right away. You and your fiancé may feel strongly one way or the other about inviting children. For example, if your bride has multiple younger brothers and sisters, she may want them present, or if your groom loves children, he might want younger guests invited. If you're on opposite ends of the spectrum, you may have to compromise. For example, maybe you only invite children who are close family or maybe you only allow children in the wedding party to attend the reception.
Inviting the children in the wedding party is a particular point of interest. Although you may not want children at the reception, it might seem rude or mean to ask those participating in your ceremony to go home. You might make an exception for these children, but if you really feel strongly about having no kids at the reception, talk to their parents. Explain why you'd rather not involve children and come up with a fun alternative. For example, if your ring barer and flower girls are not invited to the reception, maybe you hire a sitter for them and purchase tickets to a fun kid-friendly event they can attend while their parents are at your reception. It is a win-win situation.
Remember; be responsible about the attendance of children at your wedding. If you plan to invite kids, play clean music and keep the alcohol drinking to a minimum. That doesn't mean that you have to dance to The Wiggles and drink Kool-Aid all night, but be honest to yourself. Is this a family-friendly affair? If you plan to party all night with your best friends like you're in college again, children might be better off at home. Parents will respect that decision, even if they are initially annoyed that their young ones aren't invited.
You can also think about having a special area for your younger guests. Many reception halls have multiple rooms, so instead of including children in the dancing and drinking, you might have a special area set aside for guests under a certain age. Hire a few people for the evening to act as sitters and set up a room for playing, naps, movies, and other fun activities. You can even consider hiring a kid-friendly DJ. That will allow your friends who are parents to attend without finding a sitter, but at the same time, you don't have to worry about catering to children during the reception. Everyone will be able to enjoy their time, and you can even visit the kid-friendly areas throughout the night, throwing mini bouquets or handing out wedding cake cupcakes to help them feel like they are involved. Toast your marriage with apple juice, and then head back to the main reception to celebrate with your adult friends.
Ultimately, the decision to have children at your reception or ask them to remain at home is your choice. Friends and family members will undoubtedly offer input, and some people may not agree with your decision. However, on your wedding day, you have 24 hours to make choices selfishly, so that you have a great time at your reception. It is your day; enjoy it!
