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Dealing with rude in-laws

A wedding is a beautiful day when there should be peace and harmony all through the world - right? Well, not always. Even though you are happy and your new spouse is happy, and some of your friends and family are happy for you, there is always a chance that your new spouse has some family members who aren't as pleased as they could be. Maybe they feel that you didn't include them as well as you could have in the wedding plans, or perhaps they feel that you didn't take their advice. It could be that they simply don't know you very well or there is something about you that they don't like. It could also be that they're just different than you - and they come off as just plain rude. Dealing with rude in laws is never something that either of you wants to do, but face it - people are people. If there are rude members of either of your families, they are probably going to keep on being rude, even on the happiest day of your life. There are several ways that you can handle rude in laws though - so don't sweat it.

Identify

First of all, during the wedding planning, you've probably had a chance to explore your new spouse's side of the family and might have gotten some red flags already. If there is a particular uncle that likes to tell rude jokes around you, or a disapproving mother in law who just doesn't like the way you do anything, chances are good that you've already experienced these problems and know what might be coming. This is actually a good thing, because it means that you'll be prepared. Keep those people in the back of your mind as you get ready for the big day, and know that no matter what they say, they simply can't hurt you or ruin your day. Think about a good response to them - even just a generic one like "Thank you for coming" and have it ready. Don't spend your time coming up with great comebacks or nasty things to say in return, because you don't want to stoop to their level and you never know who else might be listening. Just stick to something simple and sweet, and repeat it as often as you need to whenever they try to be rude to you.

Smile

One of the greatest things that you can do to deal with rude in laws on your wedding day is to simply smile. Remember how great you look, how wonderful you feel, and how perfect the day has been. When they say something rude to you, or when you feel that they might be getting ready to be rude, all you have to do is look at them and smile your sweetest smile; if you can couple it with some kind words to them, even better. This will throw them for a loop, and make them think twice about the way that they are acting. It will also show anyone else who is listening or watching that you are the bigger person, and make your rude in laws look even ruder in the end.

Delegate

When you're planning a wedding, there are lots of people who are going to be there to help you. Give them something to do. Put a couple of your bridesmaids on "rude uncle watch" and have them keep their eyes open for him. They can cut him off and ask him to hold his tongue - and if you choose some friends who don't mind giving a piece of their mind, you might even get the satisfaction of overhearing your rude in laws getting chewed out by someone else. If its not you doing it, it won't leave any ripples in the relationship to come, and you won't have to worry about apologizing either!

Surround Yourself

The best way to deal with rude in laws is to surround yourself with your own family and friends and the in laws that you have that you like and admire. Remember that this is a day that is just for you and your new spouse - don't let anyone's rudeness ruin it. There are going to be plenty of people who are at the wedding to see you and tell you how wonderful you look, so be sure that you find those people whenever you sense a problem brewing. If you put some nice and smiling people between yourself and the rude in laws, the chances that their rudeness will seep onto you are very slim.

Last Ditch

If you get confronted with something that you just can't ignore, or if a rude in law slips past all of the barriers you have set up against them, remember that you have to live with this family for the rest of your life. Don't get into an argument, and don't stoop to their level. Kill them with kindness, and you'll feel much better about it.